THE AMAZING SPIDER-MAN REVIEW

By Sean Smyth... Obviously...

Sometimes things work just as well the second time around.

People who haven't read a single comic or seen the original cartoon or any of the movies can probably recite to you the basic concept behind Spider-Man. And since Sam Rami's Spider-Man came out only ten short years ago it should still relatively be fresh in everyone's memory. So why reboot the thing? To compete with Batman, of course. Duh! Oh and try and make us forget about that Toby Maguire.

I mean how annoying is he? What's his crowning achievement again? MTV Movie Award for Best Kiss back in 2002? Yeah, it's no question that his star is diminishing. Thank god... But I digress. This isn't about Toby, this is about the newly re-imagined (sort of) Spider-Man.

The Amazing Spider-Man is basically a rehash of the origin story. Peter Parker (Andrew Garfield), a brilliant, young, shy, loaner, goes to Oscorp and is bitten by a spider that turns him into a superhuman who can climb on walls and can sense danger. Only this rehash is something a little more conceivable as the film attempts to ground it's story into reality much like Christopher Nolan's current incarnation of the Dark Knight. Which in my opinion refreshes the old web head and gives him a greater emotional depth especially with Garfield at the reins.

There are many similarities about this film in comparison to it's predecessor, only The Amazing Spider-Man takes those similarities and does some Amazing stuff with them. For example, the webbing is no longer organic. It doesn't shoot out of the wrist with some stupid pressure point or a crappy catch phrase. No, No.  It's back to the Peter Parker homemade webbing that he shoots out of a little canister attached to his wrist, just like in the comics. Or, how about the fact that Parker's abilities are explained through cross species genetics rather than just a simple spider bite giving him his powers. Just a few of the minute but grand details trickled into a rather powerful script.

Yes, the Amazing-Spider-Man did everything to be the original Spider-Man but still have it's own individuality. This film is all about family and acceptance and allowing maturity and growth after a hard life. But most of all it's about fathers and sons, as there is no shortage of father figures for the great Peter Parker. Over the course of movie, Peter has a slew of father types who all want something different or see the world different from him, allowing for some truly memorable scenes and high stakes of loss for Peter.

The film opens up with Peter at his school kind of alone, getting picked on, standing up for others, and pining after the beautiful Gwen Stacy (Emma Stone). At home we find he is kind of a genius who is able to fix anything for his Uncle Ben and Aunt May Parker (Martin Sheen and Sally Field respectively). When Peter discovers an old box filled with  his father's old research with, his partner Curt Connors (Rhys Ifans), it forces him to ask the question, what happened to my parents? This propels him to go to Oscorp, meet Connors and GET BIT!

At first Peter, naturally, is confused and a little overwhelmed by his newfound abilities. Gradually he becomes more comfortable and is able use this new understanding of how genetics works and gives Connors an equation from his father's journal that "full proofs" the serum to allow tissue regeneration so advanced that it can grow back entire limbs, like lizards. Uh oh.

Needless to say things start getting a little out of control for Peter juggling, his love, school, family, secret vigilante work, a sort of apprenticeship with Connors, battling a giant Lizard hellbent on trying to save and advance his research to create the perfect being, and oh, being chanced by the entire New York City Police Department, led by Gwen's father, the unflappable, Captain George Stacy (Denis Leary).

The Amazing Spider-Man gets a lot right, and in many ways, as I said, surpasses the original.  Garfield carries the weight of the film on his shoulders and that weight can be seen through the emotional conflicts that are running through him. And it's great to see the difference in character between Peter and Spider-Man. It's like he's a different person inside the suit. The wise cracking web slinger. Nothing like the brooding and overly complicated Toby Maguire Spider-Man. And not to mention, Peter isn't too afraid to show his face in this film, as he battles several times wearing the unitard without the mask. One of many great choices by director Mark Webb in his first big action film.

Then one of the most refreshing things was having Gwen Stacy, Peter's first true love be the tentpole leading lady instead of Mary Jane Watson. Casting a blonde Emma Stone couldn't have been a better choice as she really pulls her weight. Some of the best scenes are with Garfield and Stone just being a teenage couple, and her being the only one who really knows who he is, adds something more intimate unlike the original where Mary Jane hadn't the faintest idea the entire first movie and well into the second.

Rhys Ifans brings his own skills to the party, making Connors very likable, just as he should be, up until the unexpected transformation, and his later scenes as he loses his mind are great. Seeing his struggle to keep his work alive made me really root for him to succeed even though I knew it wouldn't end well. Many people are comparing him to William Defoe's Norman Osborn/Green Goblin from the original Spider-Man, which in my opinion was fantastic, but that's not fair. This story isn't about that part of Peter's life, not yet anyway. This is how it all starts. And Lizard is the perfect training wheels bad guy, with a realistic goal he is trying to achieve. He's not just trying to take over the world, well he is, but he's only trying to make it better, in his own deranged chemically enhanced way. He is also something more. He's one of three father figures that Peter has which makes it all the more powerful toward the end. 

Then there is the unlikely hero, that is, Denis Leary's George Stacy. He's a no nonsense kind of guy who will defend his beliefs and wants nothing more than to do his job and protect his family by keeping the streets clean of any kind of threat, including Spider-Man. I have to say George Stacy is one of my favorite characters because I believe he has the greatest change in the film. His arc is something that helps not only move the story along and provide conflict but, gives Peter someone who has a completely different look on life.

Overall The Amazing Spider-Man takes great swings (Ha! Puns) away from the original; breathing new life into the characters and displaying great humor along with a grounded reality with just a hint of sci-fi fantasy. The story flows well, allowing for a significant amount of time with certain characters to make us care for them, multiple intersecting story arcs and a rather satisfying conclusion, that really makes the movie feel whole. The only downside is that there is a rather large corny sequence towards the end of the film that just feels kind of lame and out of place with the rest of the it and the Lizard looks a little too cartoony for my taste.

The film leaves several open questions and a killer mid-credit scene that I for one don't know what to make of, but allows you to leave with a sense of not only continued normality but hope for the characters. Therefore, I give The Amazing Spider-Man 4.5 blips out of 5.

Thanks for reading. Any comments, suggestions, or opinions please refer them to the designated area below where you leave your two cents. Let me know what you think or your ideas about who exactly was the mysterious character in the shadows in the mid-credit scene, or a sweet slogan for my blog, because I'm bone dry on that front.

TED REVIEW

By Sean Smyth... Obviously.

One part Comedy, One part Drama, One part Magic Christmas Miracle, One part Family Guy, heat past "R", stir well. Enjoy.

This being my first review, I'm going to try to not blow it too hard or fast. Giggity. 

Ah yes. Seth MacFarlane, how I love your zany, witty, somewhat idiotic brand of comedy. It suits me well; and Ted is in the same vein, only with something that MacFarlane only now has been incorporating into the beloved Family Guy series. A heart. 

I love me some Family Guy, and it's equally funny sister American Dad, and even the awkward brother not many people talk about, The Cleveland Show. I can quote lines from those shows all day with my friends and laugh each and every time like a pre-pubesent little school girl. So going into MacFarlane's directorial debut, knowing he also wrote and lent his voice to the title role, I was running with my hopes on high, bordering on side splitting. 

As you may or may not know. Ted is about a young eight year old boy who makes a Christmas wish to bring his new Teddy Bear to life so they can be BFF's. Fast forward twenty some years,  John Bennett (Mark Wahlberg) is now a rental car salesman and Ted, a former childhood star, for being a talking Teddy Bear,  is now just a washed up stoner bum. John and Ted have been paling around for years, getting high and talking nonsensical BS, while enjoying the finer things of their childhood years such as "Flash Fucking Gordon!"

Enter Lori Collins (Mila Kunis), a successful young woman working at a big PR firm led by her jackass boss Rex (Joel McHale), the always funny douche with a tendency to hit on Lori by any means necessary. Needless to say Lori puts a wrench in Ted and John's usual routine and after four years Lori is looking for a commitment from John; forcing him to grow up and be a man with upper lip hair and everything. 

Now maybe I got my hopes a little too high or something, but for some reason I didn't find myself splitting at the seams. 

I thought long and hard, giggity, about why this happened. It has all the elements there; a wise cracking stuffed bear, a series of cut scenes (Family Guy style), a crazy chase scene, a duck fight at a wild party, a crazy, old school, horrible TV show star, and a series of Family Guy friends, with awesome one liner scenes.

I think the main issue I had was with the audience full of assholes who were talking on their phone most of the movie and didn't understand the jokes, which in my opinion makes them Petarded. 

That being said the real issue, as I mentioned in the opening, is this bad boy has a major heart. Now this isn't a bad thing, it's just not what I expected. The entire film is about relationships with friends and love and how to find the balance between the two, which everyone can relate to. However the friend in this case is a life long "Thunder Buddy" Teddy Bear (say that three times fast), who can say no to that?

As the film progresses Ted is asked to move out so Lori and John can move on and grow in their relationship. Ted reluctantly accepts but that doesn't necessarily lead to John moving on. Ted constantly eggs John to come back to him, which pushes Lori away thus causing a rift between Ted and John. 

You coming over or what, Snuggles?

Meanwhile Donny (Giovanni Ribisi) and his creepy son show up a few times being, well, super creepy. They continuously try to buy Ted and his love, with a pretty major part in the third act involving that chase scene I was talking about, but I won't spoil it here. 

Ted is something different it's technically a hard "R" with all of the F-Bombs dropped, but it doesn't feels like it breaks new ground in terms of hugely outrageous raunchy comedies due to its dramatic aspect; which I believe works out great. Each actor brings their own personal charm and skill. MacFarlane is always hilarious, but is able to hit some real emotional peaks. Kunis, I must say, has grown much more as an actress and is genuinely believable as the beauty Lori. While Wahlberg, who does well and is hilarious just because it's Marky Mark who usually plays the big action movie star, is thrust into a romantic comedy disguised as a raunchy thrill ride, and seems just out of place enough for it to work. Though he does feel a little old for the part, especially in comparison to Kunis. 

Then there is the overall plot. As funny as the bear and the movie is, the plot is weak, and staggers around here and there, connected by a series of events and doesn't feel like anything really happens until around the middle of the movie. Although, Ted does manage to end on a pretty strong and hilarious note that makes you both smile, laugh, and if your not a heartless bastard, choke up, just a little, at the least. 

Is four hookers too much for a stuffed bear with no penis? 

Note I do not hate this movie and I will most likely watch it again and find it even more hilarious the second time around just like I do with Family guy. As for right now though, Ted feels like another sappy Hollywood love story with a crude talking bear, with all the funnier parts shown in the trailer-like many other comedies. But, I will say this, Ted did surprise me and was more than the trailer let on.  And it is because of that allusion, I give it 3.5 blips out of five. Get it?

Well, there you have it, my first review. I'm considering this a practice run, and won't actually be launching the blog until Monday, just want to get the gist of this whole thing. If you happen to read this, let me know what you think. 

Oh by the way, Patrick Stewart is by far the best narrator ever, and has an unbelievably awesome little bit about an Apache Helicopter that actually made me cry with laughter, and I may or may not have been the last one still laughing and everyone may or may not have been glancing over at me oddly.